Team Grumpy is a joky name given to the Two-up team comprising Grumpy Bob and "Grumpy" Art Vanderlay, former clubmates now separated by a considerable geographic distance. We do however race together in 2-up time trials wherever possible, most notably at the Duo Normand time trial held in Normandy each September.
This website offers advice and reviews (events and equipment) pertaining to 2-up team time trials
Rule #1. Remember to make your excuses before the race, not after. Otherwise it will just sound pathetic.
Rule #2. Don't tinker with your bike the evening before the event. It will break, either then or, worse still, during the event.
Rule #3. If all else fails, buy some new bike kit.
Rule #4. And if rule #3 fails, new skinsuits are probably a good option.
Rule #5. Never train or race with a bad cough - it will destroy your entire season.
Rule #6. Tantrums are appropriate if provoked (e.g. by mechanical problems), but try to avoid damage to equipment.
Rule #7. Team Grumpy riders are allowed to use whatever equipment they wish (and their wallets permit). However, the official team energy drink is always pop belge.
Rule #8. Cycling terminology such as cockpit, wheelset and colourway are strictly forbidden.
Of course, our eight rules pale in comparison to the Velominati rules.
The two members of Team Grumpy live several hundred miles apart, so our competitive outings are necessarily limited. We aim to ride at least two 2-ups a year, typically an early season event in South Wales and the Duo Normand, a well-known 2-up time trial in Normandy. Sadly, the Duo Normand has not taken place since Covid, though as eternal optimists we still hope it will resume. Maybe for 2024?
Many of these events are reviewed on this site.
Team Grumpy has used a variety of equipment over the years - we will write reviews of this stuff to try and give a user's perspective often following long periods of use. Similarly, we've had varying success at keeping a sensible and effective training programme going, against a changing backdrop of domestic and work commitments - we plan to write on the subject of training methods.
Riding the Port Talbot Wheelers 2-up 25 mile event in south Wales has become something of a Team Grumpy tradition in recent years. In the past, the event has been held on the fast R23/3 (or variant) course, which features the improbably fast descent of the Neath bank, a hill that you don’ have to go up again! Due to roadworks, last year the event was run on the R25/24, an altogether more realistic course – this course was used again this year. In 2007, the weather was astoundingly vile, torrential rain coupled with strong winds.
This event has become Team Grumpy's annual season-starter. It's a well run two up team time trial event run on the R25/24 course. This course uses a dual carriageway section for the first half, before switching to the old road running roughly parallel to the dual carriageway, but which is quite a bit hillier, with several short but quite steep climbs.
A bright but very cold and frosty morning greeted us as we loaded up the car to drive over to Resolven to ride in the 2010 Port Talbot Wheelers 2-up ’25′. In fact we were both apprehensive – about the weather, yes, but also the uncertainty of what form our winter training had led to. In my case, I was reasonably confident, but I was aware of being rather overweight and lacking in mileage – most of my winter training had been in the form of relatively brief turbo sessions in the garage. On the other hand, my team mate Gerry had left resumption of training until late December, and had then been afflicted with a lengthy cold (possibly the same thing that got me during most of December). So he was pretty sure he was going to be riding sub-par.
This event is the usual curtain raiser for my racing season, and it’s also the first 2-up event that I ride each year and as such gives an indication of how Team Grumpy‘s form is at this early stage in the season. Usually, we also take advantage of the journey over to Wales to visit interesting archaeological sites, previous visits having included the Avebury stone circle, the Uffington White Horse and Wayland’s Smithy. This year was slightly different: we stayed in Bath for a couple of nights en route to Wales.
As is now usual, Team Grumpy prepared intensively for the 48h prior to this event: a preparation which entails consumption of takeaway curry and Belgian beer, while sitting on a sofa watching TV. Team Grumpy dispensed with rule #2, by tinkering with 'Grumpy' Art's chainring bolts the day before the race. On the morning of the event both riders woke feeling surprisingly chipper considering the quantity of preparation, but were were somewhat disappointed to see thick fog blanketing southern Wales. Fortunately the weather lifted, leaving clear sunny conditions with a light but rising wind by the time the team convoy reached the race HQ at Resolven.
The Port Talbot Wheelers 2-up ’25’ has been a regular fixture on the Team Grumpy calendar for a number of years. As usual, the two evenings prior to the event were characterised by conspicuous consumption of Leffe and curry. This was an acceptable preparation, since both members of Team Grumpy had seen their pre-season training somewhat derailed by illness. The team also avoided any serious bike tinkering on the day before the race. Indeed, the only issues needing dealt with were (a) "Grumpy" Art’s disc wheel needed to be replaced with his trispoke owing to braking issues, and (b) Grumpy Bob's left shoe wouldn’t clip onto his pedal. This turned out to be due to tiny fleck of mud in the shoeplate springs! Pretty quickly all was in order.