Team Grumpy is a joky name given to the Two-up team comprising Grumpy Bob and "Grumpy" Art Vanderlay, former clubmates now separated by a considerable geographic distance. We do however race together in 2-up time trials wherever possible, most notably at the Duo Normand time trial held in Normandy each September.
This website offers advice and reviews (events and equipment) pertaining to 2-up team time trials
Rule #1. Remember to make your excuses before the race, not after. Otherwise it will just sound pathetic.
Rule #2. Don't tinker with your bike the evening before the event. It will break, either then or, worse still, during the event.
Rule #3. If all else fails, buy some new bike kit.
Rule #4. And if rule #3 fails, new skinsuits are probably a good option.
Rule #5. Never train or race with a bad cough - it will destroy your entire season.
Rule #6. Tantrums are appropriate if provoked (e.g. by mechanical problems), but try to avoid damage to equipment.
Rule #7. Team Grumpy riders are allowed to use whatever equipment they wish (and their wallets permit). However, the official team energy drink is always pop belge.
Rule #8. Cycling terminology such as cockpit, wheelset and colourway are strictly forbidden.
Of course, our eight rules pale in comparison to the Velominati rules.
The two members of Team Grumpy live several hundred miles apart, so our competitive outings are necessarily limited. We aim to ride at least two 2-ups a year, typically an early season event in South Wales and the Duo Normand, a well-known 2-up time trial in Normandy. Sadly, the Duo Normand has not taken place since Covid, though as eternal optimists we still hope it will resume. Maybe for 2024?
Many of these events are reviewed on this site.
Team Grumpy has used a variety of equipment over the years - we will write reviews of this stuff to try and give a user's perspective often following long periods of use. Similarly, we've had varying success at keeping a sensible and effective training programme going, against a changing backdrop of domestic and work commitments - we plan to write on the subject of training methods.
Note: this report describes Team Grumpy's second ride in the Duo Normand (we have ridden each year from 2003, with the exception of 2006), and was originally published in the North Bucks Road Club Newsletter.
It was just before mid-day, the sun was directly overhead and the temperature had hit thirty. A couple flashes from the camera in front of us and then the countdown, cinq , quatre, trois, deux, une. We both focused on the road ahead that climbed out of the Normandy village of Marigny. The Duo Normand's motto is l'effort total. We didn't know it at that moment, but this would neatly sum up our race.
Placeholder for event report - photos added below...
The Duo Normand two-up team time trial is held annually in September on a 54.3km circuit based in the Normandy town of Marigny. from a British time triallist's point of view, it's a spectacular event - not only because of the numbers of spectators, but because of the large numbers of competitors (in many categories from unlicenced to professional) and the virtually closed roads. All the teams can have a following car in case of mechanical problems, though Team Grumpy have never availed themselves of this in the 5 occasions we've ridden it.
OK, so the Duo Normand is a bit of an obsession of Team Grumpy, but I think justifiably so! Over the years we've had variable fortune in the event.
Team Grumpy approached this year's Duo Normand with the expectation that we'd do less well than in previous years - both riders have had less than stellar seasons. In the event, we did better than we expected, I think, despite being trounced by a seriously strong team riding for BikeRadar.com (Robin Coomber and Jeff Jones), who rode a superb race, taking the category record with 1:15:22.
Duo Normand 2010: Grumpy Teamwork underpins emphatic victory for Team Grumpy in its centenary year, but rule-book seriously contravened!
On the back of a frankly lacklustre season, we (Team Grumpy, a.k.a Gerry and Robert) were uncertain how things would go for them at the 2011 edition of the Duo Normand, the 30th time the event has been run (and the 8th in which Team Grumpy has competed).
Well, Team Grumpy didn't approach the 2012 edition of the Duo Normand time trial with great expectations, which was probably a good thing as their performance was somewhat lack-lustre. In large part Team Grumpy can blame problems with work-life balance causing problems with training, and of course Grumpy Bob had that crash while racing only a few weeks before the Duo.
Team Grumpy didn't write a preview of the 2013 Duo Normand, principally because both riders have had particularly lacklustre seasons this year for reasons of pressure of work and of illness and injury. However, on a recent joint holiday to Normandy, one did seem to see the vague signs of returning form. Grumpy Bob built on this by riding five events between coming back from Normandy and returning for the Duo Normand. Everything seemed to be falling into place. From his perspective, at least.
This was our second trip over to Normandy in 2014. Along with my Team Grumpy team-mate Gerry, I had a long weekend away to make another assault on the Corporatif category of the Duo Normand.
As something of a prologue to this year’s event, I’d decided to modify my P3’s set up. For the last few years, I’d had flat handlebar extensions fitted to the USE Tula bars, but since getting a Cervelo P5, I’d decided that returning to extensions with upturned ends would be beneficial. I ordered the required replacement parts and set about fitting them. It was soon apparent that I had a problem on my hands - I just couldn’t persuade the left hand extension to go through the base bar. After several days effort, I gave up and reverted to Plan B: to buy a new base bar and use some old Deda GCB extensions I had previously used on a fixed wheel TT bike.
So, the usual features of Team Grumpy's preparation for the Duo Normand are generally not conducive to a good performance! 2015 was no different.
Grumpy Bob's bike had some real issues with its gear indexing. This was noted in training over in Normandy a month before the Duo, and also back in Blighty. Hopefully sorted before the Duo, but who knows. Team Grumpy Rule #2 may well be violated again this year! Grumpy 'Art' Vanderley lost his racing licence. Or maybe he used it as a bookmark. In Nicole Cooke's biography. Anyway, a replacement was ordered via British Cycling, but with a few days to go, it was somewhere with the privatised Royal Mail. But then! Moment of genius! Examination of wallet revealed it was there all along!
Once again, Team Grumpy entered the Corporate category. Sadly, the 35th Duo Normand was marred by a fatal accident.
This report is written in Microsoft Sway - if the embedded version doesn't work on your device, here's the direct link.